I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
