for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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