stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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