He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
