so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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