she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
