I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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