wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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