I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
