no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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