Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
