I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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