First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
