What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize