Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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