Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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