I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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