I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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