did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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