Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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