my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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