Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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