her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize