It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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