Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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