We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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