ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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