She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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