Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
