No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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