just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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