i would punch a child for taco bell
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
