Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
