if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The power of my boobs compel you
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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