you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
