Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm like, not good at living.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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