Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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