Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
