so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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