He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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