i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
