that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
