it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
