she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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