at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
