like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
