I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
