Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
