Moan for me like Helen Keller
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize