I didn't shave. On purpose
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
