he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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