You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
