hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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