2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
