If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
