I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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