Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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