My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just pee around me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
